


Who is Captain America's Mystery Man?

by Ruth_Holmgren_mustdie



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Drabble, Established Relationship, Feels, Getting Together, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, One Shot, Paparazzi, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Press and Tabloids, fuck canon whos that, i explain how they got togther for like two sentances, i gave them a dog, these two are so stupid I love them so much, they deserve to be happy ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29452635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruth_Holmgren_mustdie/pseuds/Ruth_Holmgren_mustdie
Summary: "Today Natasha had decided to send him that lovely article, along with the words "the people want to know about you and your arm candy". To which he texted back "Dear Natasha, Why did you have to phrase it like that. If anything I'm Bucky's arm candy, not the other way around. Sincerely, Steve."."Or, the one where nobody realizes Bucky is the one Steve has been out in public with, and Steve and Bucky decide to give the press a show.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 1
Kudos: 139





	Who is Captain America's Mystery Man?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while, schools been crazy. Also it's technically over now, but happy Valentine's Day!

**_WHO IS CAPTAIN AMERICA'S MYSTERY MAN?_ **

_(Image: Steve Rogers walking down the sidewalk, holding the hand of a man wearing dark clothes, whose face can't be seen due to the angle of Steve's upper body in front of the camera. Rogers is talking animatedly, smiling.)_

_"For the past few weeks, seemingly every day, new photos surface of America's favorite Avenger walking alongside a man that no one can seem to get a good shot of. From what we can tell, the man has long hair, an affinity for dark colors, and can be seen out with the captain getting coffee, walking a large golden retriever (which Tony Stark has been on record referring to as "Steve 2"), or even catching a movie. Apparently, Captain America is a fan of Julia Roberts. In all of these images, the mystery man's face is never distinguishable. Whether it's sunglasses, hair in his face, or simply being hid behind the muscles of our aforementioned Avenger, somethings always keeping us from getting a good look._

_I'm sure plenty of us can recall the press conference back in 2017 in which Captain America, who for many was seen as 'good old American patriotism' come to life, came out as bisexual, which came back with...mixed reviews. For many his coming out was something that made them feel seen, and almost like a slap in the face to all the people who still thought of Captain America as a gun-slinging, Nazi-punching, red-blooded American. Although I can bet Mr. America would still gladly punch a Nazi if it need be, he's made himself clear since being "unfrozen", that he's not the republican wet dream some seem to think he is._

_But the idiots who simply can't imagine that America's sweetheart might not be 100% straight are beside the point. Why I bring this up should hopefully be obvious. While a few years ago, if these same photos came out, most news sources would try and write off Cap's canoodling (holding hands, leaning to talk a little too close for comfort, and even a kiss at the temple on one occasion), as simply him being a "good friend". Nothing to see here folks! Just guys being dudes! And yes, some outlets are still trying to pull that B.S., but pretty much anyone can see through that. And right now, the question on everybody's mind is- Who is this guy, and why is Captain American so dang into him? Of course, people across the internet have been speculating. It's a skill of theirs. Some think the mystery man could be an Avenger's intern, maybe an acquaintance of Cap's friend (and fellow Avenger), Sam Wilson, also known as The Falcon. Although my personal favorite of the theories is that the man is the recently-acquitted Winter Soldier, more widely known as Bucky Barnes, the childhood best friend of Steve Rogers. What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good story."_

_Continue reading at...'_

Steve sighed and put his phone back down into his lap. He hardly ever uses his Shield-Issued cellphone, telling his friends only to text in case of emergency, which they in no way respect. Today Natasha had decided to send him that lovely article, along with the words _"the people want to know about you and your arm candy"_ , to which he texted back _"Dear Natasha, Why did you have to phrase it like that. If anything I'm Bucky's arm candy, not the other way around. Sincerely, Steve."_ (Tony tried to get him to stop texting like he was sending a letter, Steve refused.).

A part of Steve wanted to be mad at the invasion of privacy that was paparazzi, and the ever-looking eyes of the internet, but for the most part he just wanted to laugh. Steve had gotten past the fear and anxiety of things not working out and had finally told Bucky how he felt a few months prior. The two of them always had something back before the ice, a spark they never really talked about. But after everything that had happened, Steve was tired of keeping his feelings to himself. After Steve sputtered out a confession, Bucky didn't say a word, instead choosing to simply lay a big, fat kiss on Steve. 

"One of the first things I remembered about you was how tight I would hold onto you when we went to bed at night. I remember thinking to myself 'I love him so much, but there's no way I can say it. But maybe if I hold him close enough, he'll somehow just know.'." Bucky would say later, turning the ever-emotional Steve into something of a human puddle. After a few weeks of consideration, Steve decided that he didn't care what people thought. He would go out into the world with the man he loved, and he didn't mind the watchful eyes around him. The people at Shield could care less what he did at that point, as long as he didn't break any more laws, and since being out and proud isn't illegal anymore, who's stopping him?

The comedy in this whole situation is the fact that people seem to think Steve has something to hide. He may not have shouted from the rooftops that yes, he has been in love with his best friend for coming close to a century now, but they weren't exactly hiding their relationship. But with Bucky still having remnants of his old spy habits intact, making him unrecognizable at a glance, the identity of Captain America's new boy-toy (for lack of a more interesting word) had become somewhat of a hot-budding topic. 

Just as the gears in Steve's mind began turning, he heard the front door to his and Bucky's shared apartment open. Without turning his head, Steve knows who it is. 

"Come over here, I have an idea for something." Bucky walks over to the couch, still holding a bag of groceries. 

"Ooh, tell me, tell me."

\---

After seeing the ruckus people were making about Steve and his "Mystery Man", he and Bucky decided- why not have fun with it? 

Within the week, they dialed it up to 10. Going out of the house as many times a day as possible, with Bucky covering up more and more. He started out with big, chunky sunglasses somewhere between Elton John and Jackie Kennedy (Bucky and Steve do not know who these people are). Then he went to wearing sweaters that looked big enough to swallow him whole, despite it being late spring, and only getting hotter outside ("Buck, you're gonna sweat to death in that thing.", "I don't care, it's worth it."). Eventually, he worked up to wearing a sunhat that had a radius of a large cheese pizza, which repeatedly hit Steve in the face. Also, let it be said he did all of this in the darkest colors available to him. He has a brand to stick to as Captain America's Mystery Man, after all.

Not to mention, along with Bucky's get-ups, to say they started being extra lovey-dovey would be an understatement. I mean like, Jesus Christ. They quite literally recreated the spaghetti scene from _Lady and the Tramp_ , which was one of the few Disney movies the pair had seen. Steve and Bucky stopped at close to nothing for no reason other than to be dramatic. A horse-drawn ride around Central Park. Having Bucky purposefully fall down on the sidewalk, only to have Steve suavely catch him. Candle-lit dinner at the nicest restaurant in town, with a table right next to a huge window, perfect for the oblivious paparazzi. 

Of course, he and Bucky weren't the only ones in on the fun. All of the Avengers were aware of their little scheme, the group of them always willing to have something to distract them from the end of the world that seemed to be happening bi-weekly at this point. Pretty much every member of the team had their own encounter with reporters, asking if they knew who Steve was seeing. And each of them had equally insane responses, including, but not limited to; "I think he might be a Kennedy?", "He's from Thor's side of the pond, I wouldn't get too close.", and "I've never heard of a Steve Rogers, let alone who he's shacking up with.". 

Honestly, they would have stopped a long time ago, if people didn't keep eating it up. What was originally a few tabloids speculating Steve's love life out of sheer boredom became people calling Steve every other day, asking for him to "speak on the situation". He was starting to wonder what was keeping him from throwing his phone out the window of his high rise. 

\---

The way it ended wasn't all that dissimilar to the way it started, with a conversation (as many things do). This time around, they were eating dinner.

"How long do we wanna keep this going?" Steve looked across the table at Bucky. Bucky simply shrugged.

"Whenever we feel like. We were never trying to hide in the first place. This whole thing was just us being strapped for entertainment." Steve contemplated Bucky's words as he spun spaghetti around his fork. 

"Well, how do we end it? Go out with a bang?" Bucky pauses for a moment, in thought. 

"I say we keep it simple."

\---

And they did. Keep it simple, that is. Or well, they sure did try. They didn't bother getting up early to try and catch the morning vultures waiting down the block from their apartment building. Just went out at noon for the same afternoon walk they always take, tabloid scheme or not. Bucky opted to put his hair back, away from his for the first time in what felt like months. They went out, let Steve 2 (whos real name is Bear, but the nickname stuck) get some fresh air, and went back home. But of course, sure enough, when they went to see how people would react to finally realizing it had just been Bucky the whole time, they didn't get what they expected. All they got is a blurry photo of the side of Steve's face, with the tip of Bucky's nose just barely poking out from behind. 

"These people really should hire better photographers," Bucky mutters. 

"Y'know what...Whatever. Come on." Steve huffs out a groan, and stands up off the couch, bringing Bucky with him.

"Where are we going?" Steve walks down to the lobby of his building, Bucky walking beside him.

"You'll see." They walk out the front door, the spring sun just barely starting to set. They go down the block, and pretty soon, Bucky realizes what's about to happen. The pair approach the aforementioned vultures (paparazzi) that like setting up base in close proximity to the one and only Captain America. 

"Hi there." The group of three photographers whip around at his voice, and their eyes go wide when they see the face attached to it. "You all are extremely stupid." Steve talks to them with his best not-mad-just-disappointed voice. He gives Bucky a quick kiss on the cheek, and then turns right around, leaving him with the vultures.

"He has a flair for the dramatic." Pause. "Bucky Barnes, lovely to meet the people who have been taking photos of me for weeks." They stay silent. _Bet you guys are fun at parties._ He keeps that to himself.

\---

The next morning, as if on cue, Steve wakes up to a text message from Natasha, with no words, but a link.

**_'CAP HAS A THING FOR BAD BOYS!'_ **

Steve just laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :-)


End file.
